These are all my own poems. I enjoy writing poetry and I hope you enjoy these that I've shared with you. My own journey has provided much subject material. I find writing poetry a very cathartic exercise.
I spent many many hours writing these so If you choose to copy these then please ensure you acknowledge me as the author of these poems
The Mind Game
What game are you playing with my head?
Dangling me on a string.....
Pull me in, push me away
Can't you see how much it hurts
I just pretend it's all ok but silently in my heart
I well up inside and tears of sadness flow
"I'm glad we're back in touch", said in one breathe
Then bid me the "long goodbye" in another
What's going in your pretty head
Do you actually know yourself?
Indeed a master puppeteer, you are
Drop the strings when you can't make me perform.
I fold into a crumpled heap, lifeless puppet
Strings all tangled now, heart gone hard
Anger, sadness, doubt run amuck
Is it me? I question my validity
"You're a wonderful woman".....BUT!!!
So here I am back at the drawing board
Wondering where to start, can't go back,
Can't go forward, heart stuck in the mud.
Quandary
Whatever happened back there?
Was it real or just a figment of my vain imaginings
Machinations and expectations swirling
Seeking for that magic place of awe and wonder
Of romance and love, of life and healing
The whirlwind blew with all its fury
Captivating, enthralling, exciting the senses
Seeking wonderment, seeking love, seeking peace
Pushing, urging to hide past pain, past love
Replace with a bandaid just for now
The richness of the moment, sensual, sentient
Captivating the heart and mind like a magnet uncontrolled
Drawing, pulling as a moth drawn to light with no control
Taken by intrinsic urges, no control, instinctual
As a newborn is drawn to its mothers breast
Now it's gone, as quickly as it came, the wind well spent
Weighted blame on the princess's shoulders
Was she really that princess, or just another conquest
Was it real or just vain imaginings
She wept, heart heavy, yet again love not attained.
Liz Olsen March 2016 (C)
THE RIVER
Meandering slowly, meandering quickly
But surely on it flows, onwards, onwards
It flows on no matter what.
No obstacle will never stop it, around it, it will go
Men like mountains will never understand women
Women, like water, nurturing giving life
Pouring out, giving, giving love, giving life
Water the precious life force of life itself
Water, women, the river of life, the giver of life
Moving not being held captive by anything
Forward, forward, releasing, opening
Indomitable spirit, indomitable heart
Liz Olsen January 2016 (C)
The Dream
You sure did get to me
Made me feel brand new
But it was a very short time
Before things became eschew
I no longer was the princess
You imagined that I was
But instead you only fantasised
It was indeed because
You were only seeking love
But inside your lovely head
You thought I was the answer
To your worries but instead
All it did was show you up
That really all was not well
You never cleaned your act up
Instead you caused me hell
Thought we had something special
But it wasn't meant to be
Because you hadn't sorted your baggage out
I was left to see
That all was not well in your world
You tried so very hard
To find your special soulmate
But my dear it was the wrong card
You didn't play it right my love
Instead you screwed my head
Because you thought the ultimate
Was get me right in bed
But truth to tell I think it wrong
Because your troubled past
Was only blurring present times
Although for now it was a blast
But then again I have to say
The moments were indeed good
I really only looked for love
As many people should
But sadly it was short in time
Real connection that we had
It wasn't all we thought it was
And yet it wasn't all bad.
And so dear one I'm grateful for
The kind endearing terms
You did apply to me and so
I'm warmer still and not yet burned
Life and love goes like this you know
It is a game of chance
If we can step the light fantastic
We have a beautiful dance
And if it isn't meant to be
then que sera sera
It's clearly not meant to be
So this is the last hurrah
Lizzy Olsen March 2016 (C)
Grief
It sits deep down, begging to be given life
But I refuse, it's been here before and
Almost destroyed me, but not this time
I'm stronger now, it won't get me again
Not this time anyway..........
The present is my solace now
I can withstand the brevity of pain
As I know it will pass in time
No past or future matter anymore
All I have is now!!
Lizzy Olsen March 2016 (c)
ROSEMARY
You put on your red shoes, so gloriously soft and comfy
Then struggle to tie the laces,Hands once nimble now slow
You put on your brown coat,Don your little patterned hat and stick
Open the door, lock the door lifelong habit not yet forgotten
You link your arm entwined in mine like a child clings trustingly to its mother
Security you once took for granted now vulnerable and needy
Off we go into Wintery air, bracing and sharp, we don't care
Slowly, slowly inch by inch we make our way down St Cyriacs
Click bop, click bop your stick eagerly leads you on and on
Through the little archway and there we are, now in Crane st
Shuffling over ancient flagstones, built in Roman times
The biting cold gnawing at your nose releasing the tap within
You reach within your brown coat pocket pull out a screwed up tissue
Wipe the drips that threaten to embarrass you and make you look old
On we go click bop, shuffle shuffle down to M and S look around
You grimace in pain, on your feet too long, find a chair to sit for a while
Then one more shop, White Company, you like this shop with beautiful smells
Now you've had enough and want to go back home, turn around heading back
The flagstones rickety surface threatening to trip you up but you watch with care
The winter wind picks up with craggy claws and grips your cheeks but you resist
Determined face looks forward now, as we wheel back down Crane street
Grunting in pain because arthritis has entwined its prickly tentacles around your knees
Like shards of glass grinding between the joints, how dare it steal your joy
Cross the street, through the car park nearly home, over the road unlock the door
You step inside,relief at last,take off hat and coat, stick set back in porcelain jar
You sigh with relief back into the warm belly of your home, time for a cuppa
Hot chocolate is just the cure to warm you up, seated now in comfort you sit
Just a little one for me you say, the usual cup you imbibe. A simple walk is done!
(C) Liz Olsen January 2015
Taking the train to Brighton
Tonbridge ticket office man
Gives me a fare to Redhill station, get off there he says
Go to Gatwick Airport he tells me so, climb aboard
Redhill here we come, Gatwick train soon I'm on
Ready for the journey now
Speeding, rushing, always going somewhere
Stopping here, stopping there
Whistle blows, on we go
Jarring starts, then high pitched hum
Swishing through the greyness of Winter
Rush to platform 7, Gatwick airport
On we hurry to our destination
Faster, faster clickety click
Through a tunnel, my ears feel thick
Shaking, jostling no one talks
Young man calls, "tickets please"
As he ambles down the aisle
Through the carriage he struts
Bancombe station, another stop
What's that funny noise?
Bang!! Another train heading the other way
Sends my ears to weird places
Ah it stopped it's clear again the train creaks
Groaning and shuddering like an aged man
Shaking but determined to get where it's going
Gadonk, Gadonk, passing towns, Haywards Heath
We stop,more folk scramble on
There's that whistle again and that funny noise
Off we go determined to get to our destination
Clickety click, that High whining sound
More stops, Wivelsfield, train sounds impatient
Let's keep going, doors swish open
People scurry off to who knows where
Driving past fields and trees, devoid of summer dress
Grey oh so grey, we stop again this time, Burgess Hill
Oh hurry up I want to get there, how much longer
On this whirring horse with feet made of metal
Passengers just stare into their phones
no longer wanting to make eye contact
Hassocks station this time, soon oh soon
Suddenly we are there, Brighton has arrived
It's wet and winters weather
But who cares, I just want to get there
Taxi man picks me up and drives to Bedford Square
Five quid fare I'm finally there
Karma
Karma comes to collect you know
It's plain for all to see
The things you say, the things you do
Will all come back to thee
Be mindful in this life of yours
Whatever you give out
Because in the final analysis
It's what you bring about
If you cheat and lie to others
The pain will end up yours
So please strive to give love
Or your spirit will end up poor
The tyrannies of the soul my friend
Will stalk and bring you pain
Such tyrants as jealousy, anger & desire
From these you must refrain
Seek only peace and love
Give kindness beyond compare
To give to all humanity
And for this life prepare
To hold with love and dignity
Your fellow human beings
For what you say and what you do
From you it all begins
My plea to you my fellow man
Is watch wait and beware
For what you do comes back to you
To these life rules you must adhere
Karma can be good or bad
It's your choice in what you choose
So treat each other with love and care
And Karma will be good to you.
Aug 2014
Moving on...
Trauma inflicted
Broken houses
Broken hearts
Broken souls
But the sun always shines again
Nothing surer
Just a case of 'not if but when'
Time to move on
THE OLD ME NEW ME
Who was that girl that looked like me?
Moulded and shaped by dysfunction
Pushed and pulled in ugly ways
Yes she was the old me
Tugged and pulled, misshapen
Like a rag doll she looked.
Who was that girl that looked like me?
Attractive yet had no idea
That she really had an attractive face
No one said she did,so she didn't believe it
Lacking confidence, shrivelled spirit
Dominated and controlled, who can she be?
Who was that girl that looked like me?
Twisted and turned, betwixt and between
Shady boundaries, fears galore
Tender hearted, loving and caring
Unconditional love not reciprocated
Where has that girl gone?
Who was that girl that looked like me
Carried heavy load for far too long
She had a broken heart she did
Took a while to heal the pain she bore
Stab wounds between shoulder blades
Watery eyes from crying too much
So where the hell did that girl go?
That girl that looked like me
She shed that suit, no longer required
Didn't fit her anymore, too small, far too small
That new girl suit fitted far better
A new girl has emerged
Here is the new me, bold and sassy
No longer living in fear or low self esteem
No undercurrents that inflict hurt or pain
Far too busy to tolerate that shit
Yes that new girl has arrived and journey on did go
Heart at ease and soul content
I am, I am, i am the new me, the happy me
Indomitable, courageous, peaceful spirit
Kindness now reigns where fear once sat
No longer taunted or put down or discouraged
Head held high, hip hip hoorah
Hello world this is the new me!
October 2014
Beauty
Oh betrayal look what you did to me
You broke my heart in two
But then I welcomed Beauty in
She gave me most exquisite view
She beckoned me with alabaster hand
With gentle words she chided
No more sadness, no more pain
Then with wisdom she now she guided
To find the hidden treasure deep within
With beauty beyond compare
No need to grapple, fight or strive
No longer need to fear
So often happiness it seemed
Was difficult to find
But Beauty when she came to me
Now gave me peace of mind
I was no longer lost or poor
For treasure now was mine
It was the beauty of my soul
So exquisite, so magnificent, so refined
Liz Olsen August 2014
The Manipulator
How did I get in that mess?
You turned me into a frog
You twisted and you shaped me
Till I was just a cog
To be turned and turned
Till I then wore out
Then you discarded me
And I just roamed about
Like a lost soul in tortured pain
In darkness I did wallow
It was the most disgusting pill
That I had ever swallowed
You loved yet so selfishly
I was just your convenience
To be there when you needed me
Then pushed away and hence
The crazy dilemma I did have
The "push me pull you" game
Left my head in such a mess
Yet you still stayed the same
You cared only about yourself
You didn't give a toss
For how you shaped and left me
Yes you were the only boss
How can love and hate
Be together in the same cup
Like a sweet and bitter pill
It does not lift me up
It served to drive me crazy
Made me think I was insane
But little did you count on me
Finding the real me again
You think I'm still the same person
That you had shaped me to
But I soon sought to find myself
Sweet mercy, blended hue
The person you knew then
Was shaped by living with you
The person I am now is shaped
By me so real, honest and true
The person I am now
Is free to love myself
How wonderful it is.
No longer full of self doubt
Oh the bliss of realisation
That I wasn't the fool you'd made
But I was in fact so beautiful
Amazing, wonderful, and great
I am so very worthy
Of purer unbridled love
I no longer have need of you
I am loved from above
Liz Olsen July 2014
The Beginning of the End
One night I stopped looking out the window
For your headlights to appear
I finally realised you were never coming home
Why wasn't I aware?
No need to make the house nice
No need to pour the wine
No need to make a warm welcome
Nor meal from which to dine
I cared too much for you
Whilst little for me you cared
For all the effort I went for you
I should never of dared
To forever trust in love
Or forever should believe
That love pledged forever......?
My God I was naive.
August 2014
The Devil got your Balls
The devil got you by the balls
And screwed you oh so tight
He said "come with me,
I'll make you feel all right"
He promised you oh so much
Of dreams beyond compare
You listened to his wicked lies
And turned you on your ear
Come in, come in, you said
With welcome arms you bid
Do come aboard my ship
And with great haste - he did
What can I offer you to drink?
He said what can you offer me?
Oh just ask and I will give
Whatever you can see
Can I have your soul tonight?
Life will then feel good
Just have another drink my friend
Like all good sailors should
Your trials and worries disappear
Into a drunken phong
But little did you really know
His intent was oh so wrong
So there you lie in much despair
Whilst all around you falls
The loss of love,of life and care
He sure did get your balls
The moral of this sorry tale, my friend
Is watch, wait and beware
Don't give much heed to the demon drink
For you it has no care
The devil got you by the balls
And screwed you oh so tight
So don't give an inch, don't give a mile
And mate?...... You'll be alright.
Liz Olsen 2013
Love Yourself
Oh sad and lonely tortured soul
What pain assails you so?
Why do you sit in your dark place?
What demons are your foe?
What will it take to lift you up
For spirits to arise?
Please try to help yourself
Don't make a compromise
For love is much a mighty cause
With power to overcome
And you such valued precious thing
With beauty's smile so awesome
Don't rue the day that you were born
Don't hurry for death to arrive
Instead just look to love yourself
And of gratitude to strive
For life is for living - so they say
How very true this is
Don't squander any moment given
And savour life's blessed gifts
The simple sweetest things
That money cannot buy
Earths wonders, gifts galore
Open your heart and eyes
Life's ephemeral, don't you see?
Stop wasting yet another day
Live to the fullest love yourself
And soon you can believe
That when you start to love yourself
And live your life loving you
Something wondrous begins to emerge
You'll have an amazing view
Of who you really truly are
A soul that reaches out
To then start loving others
Your heart begins to shout
Oh why did I stop loving me
A most amazing man
I really am a worthy being
And now I know I can
Start my life from this day for'ard
Love myself for all my worth
Because I am special and chosen
By God and all the earth
Liz Olsen July 2014
I'll be Happy When......
I'll be happy where and when
I get a flasher car
I'll be happy where and when
My heart doth reach the stars
That Mr/s Right, that new lounge suite
That latest electronic game
I'll be happy when I get it
And yet I feel the same
When you're bored and tired of the old
That younger woman sure looks good
So you leave your wife and family
Because you said you could
I'll be happy when I find
A younger better model
I'll throw the old one out
Oh yes it will be a doddle
I'll be happy when I buy
My own new house you'll see
I'll fill it up with lots of things
For sure how happy I'll be
When we have our new career
We wait for happiness to arrive
When we have the babe in arms
No joy will we be deprived
The big flat screen, the new iPad
I'll really be happy then
But strange and curiously
Off it goes again
I know what I can do
To bring me up once more
I'll book my big OE
That's sure to fix the score
And yet it's curious that happiness
Is fleeting as can be
That happiness based on external things
Does not last long for me
Yes happiness looked like it was
Something you pursued
And yet so elusive it was to you
It really did seem good
Oh yes it is an internal state
For happiness comes from within
Let it start from in you right now
And happiness can begin
For if you seek your happiness
In any external things
You'll find such fleeting times will pass
Then sadness to you will cling
So where to now and whenst can be?
For happiness me to find
Where do I go what do I do
To have this peace of mind?
Seek not your happiness
In things that can be seen
But from your heart springs wells of love
And on this love you lean
So find your peace and contentment now
Not from without but within
Let it start from in you right now
And happiness will begin
Dearest Margaret
I only met you briefly
And didnt know you well
But yet you had that something
That cast a kind of spell
T'was that scottish accent
That warmed you to my heart
Because you sounded just like my Mum
Even though you're miles apart
That clootie pud you gave to me
Reminded me of my own kin
For my Scottish granny too made that
Oh it was a sin
You filled us up with food and love
Our waistlines did increase
And oh you were the perfect hostess
Your kindness never ceased
So it is with love and sadness
I bid you fare thee well
Drive safely on your journey
And don't forget to tell
The folk you come across in that fair land
Where streets are paved with gold
To "look out everyone I've arrived"
And don't forget to be bold
For now you've crossed that golden tide
Where life goes on forever
So do enjoy your next great stay
In that grand hotel called Heaven
Nov 2013
THE BETRAYAL
You really were my best mate
Always! You really were
But then you betrayed me
You lying, cheating cur
You shared your thoughts with another
And gave her all the cake
While I was only given crumbs
And your heart and mind she did take
You wrote such long and sharing emails
About your dreams and your cares
She told you all her worries
And so intimately you both shared
You signed each message off with love
And secret thoughts and jokes
About me you did laugh
While your ego she did stroke
You humiliated me to her
And ran me to the ground
she laughed at your description of me
And your letters did expound
How I prattled and could not speak
But splashing I could do
Apparently I wasn't up to par
Instead promoted you
Secret messages between you both
On daily basis wrote
Whilst I was left out in the cold
my every word to her you did quote
But she was married so instead
Her friend she introduced
You really really liked her friend
Then her you now pursued
I knew something was wrong
Because you turned so cold
I was no longer yours
Nor my hand or heart did hold
Instead you said "I'm bored with you,
Dead albatross around my neck"
You really knew how to hurt me
Cruel words I did get
My heart you broke and trod on
With knife my back did stab
It turned my world upside down
The pain it hurt so very bad.
My best mate became my enemy
And email you did send
To tell me you were leaving me
And this really was the end
I was at first so angry
How dare you do this to me
After all the years of love and care
Gave heart so loyally
I foolishly allowed you to
Abuse us all so much
Intimidation was the norm
Scared hearts you did touch
Our children still remember how
You yelled and raged at us
And justification, denial and blame
Came from your mouth so much
You said 'we' weren't compatible
How hurt and sad I felt
To hear you always put me down
So harshly you have dealt
With those that loved and cared for you
We forgave you many times
In fact over and over we did so
Your cruel and heartless crimes
But life has its rewards
For those that watch and wait
Karma comes back to visit those
And dispenses out her fate
Those that have acted badly
And trampled hearts with ease
Will always get their just desserts
And Justice will be seized
We don't need to do anything
Natural justice she will flow
For whatever we give out in life
Comes back to us and so
Make sure you care with kindness
Compassion too to give
Being selfish and greedy do not work
And remember to forgive
Children are a blessing
so please be sure to treat
Them with patience and with kindness
Unconditional love is hard to beat
Please Stop trying to minimise
Or use denial and blame
Humility is hard to wear
But peace you can reclaim
So be the bigger person
stop trying to fix things up
It's better to be kind than right
So drink from the sweeter cup
Humility and cap- in -hand
Will surely serve you well
Stand back for a while stop trying hard
And then in time will tell
Your heart will tear, Your mind will swirl
With turmoil you will live
Until you find a place of peace
And you can learn to forgive
Yourself for all the pain you got
From clergy you endured
Your warring parents, constant fights
One day you can be sure
To learn to rest and truly love yourself
Stop trying to fit and blend
Learn to be real and stop pretence
Then one day you will wend
Your way back into family life
Your heart and soul restored
Peace and harmony will reign
And a heart with happy chord
Jan 2014
Don't Judge me if you've never been to hell
Have you ever been to hell my friend and felt the pain I felt
Do you really feel the pain in my heart?
that ached so hard it hurt, do you really know the loss I feel
And loneliness and despair?
You will never know what its like to be me and walk in my shoes
You will never know exactly the despair I have experienced
Perhaps you will never know what its like to be kicked when you are already down
Kicked at, spat at, ground to the ground
But I am bigger than you and greater than you
Like the phoenix from the ashes I will arise again
In my magnificence and greatness
I will conquer my pain.....
Have you ever been to hell my friend and felt the pain I felt
Do you really feel the pain in my heart?
that ached so hard it hurt, do you really know the loss I feel
And loneliness and despair?
You will never know what its like to be me and walk in my shoes
You will never know exactly the despair I have experienced
Perhaps you will never know what its like to be kicked when you are already down
Kicked at, spat at, ground to the ground
But I am bigger than you and greater than you
Like the phoenix from the ashes I will arise again
In my magnificence and greatness
I will conquer my pain.....
Liz Olsen 2013
The Warring Man
You argue and you argue
Minimise, deny and blame
You wonder why it's come to this
It's really such a shame
Your children no longer care for you
You wonder what you've done
To end up in this hellish place
Because you have begun
To use such nasty tactics
That judge and hurt their hearts
You blame the world for all your woes
And fire out angry darts
Does it not occur to you
The common thread is you?
That all this contention and bickering
And falsities you spew
Your defensiveness and excuses
Don't wash over no more
Time to put your hand up
And end this stupid war
"What have I done to deserve all this?"
With plaintive heart you cry
"How come I'm in this boat
Oh why oh why oh why?"
"My children are at war with me
What's wrong with all of them?
I know what it is
They've been talking to their Mum"
She's used to taking all the rap
And shouldering all the blame
It's all her fault
That they have smeared my name
Yes it's hard for you to look at you
And take responsibility
This ugly situation
Lies squarely on your knee
When are you going to stop
Your crazy blaming game
When are you going to get real
And face up to your shame?
That whilst a picture you portray
To partner that you're good
When you abused us all so bad
Do tell her like you should
Now chickens do come home to roost
And past comes back to haunt
Did you ever apologise to them
Or is it a guise you still flaunt
Of respectable face, So full of pretence
Where oh where are you?
Do you really know yourself?
Or are you still full of poo (shit)
Which face does your partner see
Does she know all about your past
Or do you lie to her
And run so very fast
In running you can run away
Pretend stuff doesn't exist
But sadly in reality
The truth does still persist
You thought leaving me
And start afresh with her
Would make life so much happier
Instead you've caused a stir
With all your offspring ill at ease with you
Your lying pretentiousness
Has set your kids agin you
Perhaps it's time to confess
The way you treated all of us
And so much grief did bring
You really weren't the man you thought
No praises can we sing
I bet you never told her how
On eggshells we did walk
Or how the kids hid in their rooms
For fear of your angry talk
Did you tell how I'd cry sometimes
When driven to the brink?
Of suicidal thoughts I'd have
And dark thoughts I would think
You blamed everyone else
No responsibility did you take
Oh it's midnight shift
So angry whilst awake
We were afraid of you
Too scared to speak with you
Many tears were shed in pain
Kind words were very few
Judgemental views were the norm
And measure up we never could
It was one thing or another
And on us you would " should"
"You should do this, you should do that"
No matter what we did
It was never good enough
And our views from you we hid
Too scared to say a thing
For fear of retribution
Too afraid to speak our minds
Yes that was our condition
Time for the war to stop
Wouldn't you agree?
To bring all to the open
Wipe slate clean to see
And then and only then
And with humility
It's time for white flag to be waved
For all your children to see
Be honest first to yourself
Then to your family
An apology is owed to all
For them our kids, for everyone to see
Liz Olsen April 2014
A Cup of Tea
When I offer you a cup of tea
It's not just a drink you see
It's more about connection
Of friendship between you and me
The very humble cuppa
has long since served us well
It brings us close together
With time to talk and tell
Of love and joy and sadness too
All things in life we speak
We chat or cry and gossip too
And share about our week
It isn't just a drink you know
Of course it's more than that
I just want some time with you
To connect laugh and chat
If we all sat down each time
To take some time to think
That every time I'm offered a cup
It's more than just a drink
I'm actually asking time with you
Because I value you and care
So stop and share yourself with me
These times are precious and rare
May 2014
Andrea
One day a monster did arrive
Into our lives she crept
She wanted in your pants
You, too naive to accept
Her bold and histrionic ways
Too much for ignorant souls
Yet somehow she invoked cruel fear
To my heart like burning coals
"If anything happens to Liz"
She said, "you can move in with me"
"I get horny too you know",
She spouted with such glee
My protestations were so much
She changed her tact with ease
"Oh I don't sleep with friends husbands"
Yet what else could she mean?
One time whilst out at night
To other guests she shared
What lovely couple thought we were
'Twas only just a snare
To unsettle me and pave the path
For nasty talk to blurt
"Remember when we slept together?"
Yes she was out to hurt
She wanted rid of me so she could take
My place with you instead
She did her dirty nasty work
And played havoc with my head
You stupid foolish man
How blind and dumb you were
Could you not see what she was doing?
Or were your eyes a blur?
"Oh she is just joking" you said
That was the easiest route
Instead of putting hand to stop
You allowed her to flout
The rules that govern couples
The things you just don't do
You were so very weak with her
She really wanted you
Did she care less about the harm she caused?
Did you stand up as a man?
No you let her trundle on
Too weak to make a ban
You thought she'd promote you so
You let her hurt my heart
You let her put me down
And tore us both apart
I asked you time and time again
Do tell her please do stop
Instead you carried on
Till my head was about to pop
So I took proverbial bull by horns
And email I did write
To tell how this was not ok
And behaviour not so bright
She got so very angry
And forwarded it to you
You then turned against me
Saying humiliation it did do
That night from Wellington
You drove all through the night
Came home to sort out issue
To try and put things right
Instead you pulled bottle out
And drinking you began
To curse me out and swear at me
What a hero of a man
"You stupid,fucking,useless bitch
Look what you've done to me"
Your drunk and heartless words
Cruel and angry I could see
That care for me you didn't have
It was only all about you
You cared less about our love
Gave credence to a stranger who
Had little care or thought for us
Her narcissistic bent
A dangerous scary woman
I was so glad when she went
To place assigned where Karma reigns
She can no longer cause
Such pain and terrible heartache
Or inflict her awful wars
But sad and lonely impact
On me a breakdown I did have
My best mate let the side down
A deserter- yes he only gave
What he only had inside was less
Than he was able to give
That loving kind defending stuff
I guess I had to forgive
I thought a loving caring spouse
Was sposed to defend his mate
But sadly he betrayed me
Yes that was my awful fate
And so the spiral started
From there on in it went
Down and down and down
So many tears were spent
So twelve long months I lost
In darkness I did spend
So many nights we'd both get drunk
And in raging fights we would end
You could never see the pain
that you alone had caused
You blatantly defended it
Wasted breathe and exhaust.
So many years have past
Since two thousand and three
You blamed this time
For the rift between you and me
You said things were never the same
Since the "Andrea thing"
No responsibility you took
So with sad and heavy wings
I tried my best to fly again
And struggles I did have
But fight I did and strong became
Till once more again was brave
To face the world and start again
Empowered even more
To stand against the crippling tide
Of adversity and war
I am strong again,
and never will succumb
To weak and wishy gutless man
Yes you were so very dumb.
July 2014
